Keeping a Promotion Secret

Dear Tia,

I recently received a promotion at my job and a major raise in pay. I'm very happy with my new responsibilities and title. There's only one setback — I don't want to tell my girlfriend. I love her a lot but she's not the best with money, so I find myself frequently bailing her out of bad financial situations. I'm afraid that she'll think my pay increase gives her a free to pass to spend even more frivolously. The problem is that we have mutual friends who may blow my secret and I know that she'll be very upset and hurt if I don't tell her. What should I do? — Money Matters

Dear Money Matters,

Your problem is bigger than snitches. Let me throw a few words at you: trust, honesty, boundaries. How would you feel if you found out that your significant other lied to you about her job? Betrayed is the first word that comes to mind. I have a few tips. FIrst, you may want to take some time to evaluate why you feel obligated to fill in the monetary void caused by your partner's wayward spending — and is that decision working for you? Secondly, I suggest that you think about what you need from your girlfriend and what you feel comfortable giving her. Lastly, it's time to discuss the strain personal financial decisions are placing on the relationship. You may want to bring up the promotion during this conversation or afterwards, but basic disclosure is a major component of any healthy, happy relationship.