Dear Tia,
I am married and I have an affair going on with my old school flame. Things worked out well between us. But now he is getting married and he keeps telling me that he's doing it for his parents and the girl isn't the kind he wants. I'm jealous and can’t handle my feelings. Should I still remain in touch with him post marriage or move on? – Still in Love
Dear Still in Love,
I’m confused about how things have worked out well between you and your sidepiece – you’re married and he’s engaged. That aside, it’s time for you to leave the man alone. You seem very concerned about whether or not he wants to get married, but that’s not really an issue. He’s a grown man and can make his own choices and the same goes for you. By deciding to enter into a relationship with someone you can’t fully commit to you’ve relinquished your right to be jealous. You have a husband – but you don’t have to be there. If you don't want to be with your spouse you can leave. Your old flame’s soon-to-be wife should be respected. If you really want to be with this man split up with your husband and make a play for the one who has your heart. If not, you can’t have your husband and hers, so leave him - and his family - alone.
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4 comments:
There comes a time when a person has to let go and the time for "still in love" to do this was when she married someone else, that was not her high school flame. Since she did not do this when she got married, she should do it now. As a 50 year-old divorced woman, I know that Tia gave the best advice to leave the man and his wife (when he gets married) alone. My ex husband cheated on me last year, with a woman 13 years our junior and got married this year. Within this year he kept telling me that it was ridiculous to throw away ten years and that he still loved and missed me. I forgave him last year but wanted to be left alone. This was not his first time cheating or hurting me emotionally, but it was his last with me. After getting married he kept calling my house phone and cellphone leaving demanding messages for me to call him. I changed my numbers after telling him to please leave me alone. Life is short. Respect and love yourself. Be happy with your own husband and leave other people's belongings alone. Remember what goes around comes back around. If you can't be happy with your husband, then set him free by getting a divorce. A married person doesn't have the right to be jealous of another person's significant other. Get counseling if necessary but move on.
And this is why i will never marry......
I agree with Sunshine. First of all, Still in Love may be in love, but the man she was having an affair with obviously did not want her or he wouldn't be engaged to someone else. That should have been her first clue, imho.
As the saying goes, “Oh what a tangled web we weave when we first conspire to deceive”.
Okay with that being said too many times in our lives we allow the devil to come in and take control of our minds. If you are married and cheating, stop cheating! Do what you can to salvage your marriage; this should be your first priority. Go to God ask for his forgiveness and stop doing what you are doing that is causing confusion, strife and conflict. As a note as well these things, “confusion, strife and conflict” are not of God.
My thoughts are that what is born of the flesh shall also die of the flesh. Nothing good can come from this. What will be left are broken families and people full of hurt. You will Reap what you have Sown, so always, always be careful of the seeds you Sow.
This whole “in-love” thing that some call themselves as being in is just ludicrous. Being “in-love” should not cause you to hurt people or cheat on significant others. There have been so many people who have left their significant others/spouses because they met someone else and they cannot explain what it is about that person, and feel that they are so, so “in-love”. I don’t call this being “in love” at all, I call it being “in-stupid’. It is selfish, inconsiderate and wrong to risk everything, tear apart families and hearts because you are wrapped up in emotions/feelings and Temporary blindness.
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