Should I leave?

Dear Tia,

I love my girlfriend. I love her a lot. She is the first person I've been with in a long time who makes my genuinely happy. We get along most of the of the time and only have one major problem: her family. My lady is used to giving everything to her family. All of her time. All of her money. All of her love. The thing is they don't reciprocate the sentiments or actions. She can't depend on them to make her needs and feelings a priority, so she often ends up feeling hurt. It is so hard for me to stand by twiddling my thumbs as her relatives break her heart. In addition, I have to be honest, some times she places their wants ahead of our relationship needs and it really upsets. I don't know what to do. Should I intervene? Should I walk away? - On the Bench

Dear On the Bench,

I can only imagine how frustrating it must be to watch someone you love continuously get hurt, but that's all you can really do. It is not your job or in your best interest to redefine the relationships and expectations she's set with her relatives: that is up to her. The only thing you can do is express your feelings about what you observe — to her— and let her know what your expectations are for your relationship and needs. Fight the temptation to intercede on her behalf because you don't want to place her in a situation where she has to choose between you and her family. Allow your girlfriend the space to find her own voice and strength. In the end, everyone will be happier.