This week Tia tackles how to deal when your man earns less than you and more...

Do Better, Be Better Blog... March 20, 2009

As the main breadwinner for the household, how do you make your man feel like he’s king of the house? –Cheaper to Keep Him

Dear Cheaper to Keep Him:

Just being conscious of the situation makes you less likely to obnoxious about the salary gap. Many professional women can’t separate the successful and independent persona they use to get ahead in the workforce with the role of the doting and at times docile – yes I said it – approach you have to take when dealing with your partner. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not suggesting we hand over our checkbooks after toiling for years to establish ourselves professionally. BUT we need to look at men the way we size up clients or bosses: You take the approach you need to get the result you want. If professional women want to be treated like queens they have to treat their men like a kings. There’s no one sure-fire way to guarantee that your man feels like the “king of his castle” because every man is different. You have to figure out what works for him. Maybe it’s cooking him dinner a few nights a week or allowing him to pay for certain things. I suggest that you have a candid conversation about money and his thoughts about the issue. Be conscious about not throwing money up in his face, but do not feed into any insecurity or try to over compensate for your position of perceived power. At the end of the day what you earn doesn’t make you – or him – the man. Actions do. If he’s a good, honest and responsible man – the only kind we should select to marry – have the faith to allow him to lead.

---Tia

I really wanted to have my wedding at the end of this year, however five of my friends are with child and are expecting around that time frame. What should I do? – Five Preggers and One Bride

Dear Five Preggers and One Bride:

You’re giving a whole new meaning to the term big wedding party. While it is easy to say that your special day is all about you, honestly, who will you celebrate with if all of your best gal pals are knocked up or nursing newborns at home? Assess where your girlfriends are in their pregnancies and then come up with a time period that will allow your closest pals to participate. In addition, since they will all be adjusting to mommydom – and post baby bodies – you should arrange a serious meeting to discuss all of your expectations for your festivities and to select flattering bridesmaids gowns (no need for sloppy pictures either!). During your chat make sure to let everyone know that communication is important because you want to avoid any drama if someone is unable to fulfill her responsibility due to a hectic schedule.

---Tia