Monday, October 19, 2009


Is there anything wrong with a woman never wanting to marry? – 50 and Figuring it Out

Dear Fig,

There is something very powerful in choosing your own fate. There should be no judgment attached to your decision to be single or unwed; similarly we shouldn’t be quick to criticize women who openly proclaim they are in search of a life mate and a ring. However, you’re not off the hook. You do have to ask yourself one question, why? If the reason you’ve elected to stay legally single is simply because you don’t desire or believe in the institution of marriage then you should feel confident in your choice. But what if your motivation is something deeper I suggest you seek counseling. For example, if you don’t want to get married because you fear “turning your life over to man” or don’t think there are any “good men” left I implore you to do the hard work of evaluating the root of your issues and finding the help you need. Life is short. Only you can find your true path to bliss. Don’t be afraid to take the walk.

Monday, October 12, 2009

I Slept With My Cousin's Girl - Now What?



I slept with my cousin’s girlfriend. Should I tell him? – A Family Affair

Dear Family Affair,

Trifling. Sneaky. Selfish. Those are the three words that sum up your behavior. Pursuing a sexual relationship with someone who’s involved is wrong, but when the betrayal impacts a family member disaster is even more likely to ensue. While the adage, “honesty is the best policy”, is morally appropriate, understand that this story may not end with a happily ever after. Your cousin has the right to know that his significant other has deceived him. This is not about you, your feelings or your desire to maintain your relationship with your cousin. You forfeited that right with your indiscretion. In the big picture, his ignorance may put him at risk for disease, and, more importantly, robs him of the right to choose. He should know the character of his mate before he commits to a long-term relationship or even raising children with someone who may be habitually unfaithful. Your cousin may be upset, hurt and outraged, but he has the right to know. I suggest you do better and be a better relative in the future. You both deserve more.