Friday, December 24, 2010

Dealing with Busy Friends

Dear Tia,

I have a very, very close friend who started a company and did not tell me. Does that mean I am not as close to her as I once thought? - Too Far For Comfort

Dear Too Far For Comfort,

If you're wondering why your friend didn't share this bit of information I suggest that you go straight to the source. Don't be confrontational when you approach your pal. Instead, offer your congratulations and let her know how proud you are of her accomplishment. Then, as the conversation progresses, share your thoughts about not being informed about the venture and ask whether there was any specific issue that made her decide to exclude you from the project. Be prepared for what the person has to say. It may simply be that she wanted privacy while formulating and executing her plan. However, it may be more complicated. I suggest you be open to whatever your friend has to say and remember that the new business endeavor isn't about you — it is all about your friend's success. Additionally, your pal may not rely on you when it comes to business, but you may be a great confidante when it comes to relationships. Trust that you add value to your buddy's life. Be supportive. Be patient. Be a good pal.

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